SnusCentral.com Snus Store attacked by Anti-Snus Terrorists?

UPDATE:  All issues have been resolved and SnusCentral.com is open for business!

You don’t have to read the rest of this article although it is pretty good and has historical significance.  Enjoy your Real Snus and thanks for bearing with us.  Meanwhile, Moe Unz hasn’t shown up for work yet so if you see him, please pass on the good news!

For immediate release: …………from Moe Unz; SnusCentral Snus eStore

Late 31 Jan, early 1 Feb 2011 American time, our snus store at SnusCentral.com began experiencing service issues.  We were processing an unusually large amount of orders for that time of day do to the demand for Thunder Coola.

These server issues finally resulted in the site…well, it was broken.  By the time this became apparent, we in Sweden were all asleep.  Thanks to Brant, the situation was brought to our attention by Swedish SnusCIA Agents banging on our doors and telling us to get our asses back to the server farm.

We’re not sure what actually happened yet but I will state for the record that this was not my fault!   We worked on it through the night here, but honestly, I just fell asleep at my workstation and don’t know where we are at currently.

I will not be able to change the January Specials to the February ones until we solve the major problem first.  Hopefully by the time you read this, everything is back to normal and you can stop reading this.

In case I am distracted once we are running smoothly again, we will be honoring the January Specials as long as they are posted on the site.  We will also repeat the January Free Shipping and Shipping discounts promotions into February so that no one will have hard feelings.

The February Specials will be a continuation of the January Thunder Coola sale….also Ettan portion and General Lös:  Buy a ten can roll/pay for only 8 cans.

We are grateful for your orders and sorry our site broke for “some reason”.  The SnusCIA is investigating the possibility of an Anti-Snus Terrorist attack being responsible.  The one thing we are sure of at this point is that none of this was my fault.

I will keep you updated as soon as I wake up and have breakfast…. herring in mustard sauce, bread, cheese, assorted meats, and eggs.  Mmmmmmm.

As Larry has told you, we have a new, bigger, and much more powerful SnusCentral.com under construction at this time.  We are probably 60-90 days from activation…and you will love it!

Sorry again for the inconvenience and thank you again for making SnusCentral.com YOUR Snus eStore.

Best Regards,

Moe Unz
Manager; SnusCentral.com

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UPDATE:  06:37AM 2 Feb 2011 (GMT 1)

Here is the latest news:  it’s very cold here in Lidköping. The temperature is 0 degrees C and still dark out.  It is even colder at the SnusCENTRAL Bunker in Texas but for some reason Larry is still sweating.

Anyway, like all Swedes, I am waiting for the sun to rise as today is Sweden’s version of your Groundhog Day.  We break a hole in the ice and if the salmon see their shadow, we are in for 6 more weeks of winter.

After that it’s breakfast and….oh, our snus store website!  We have determined beyond a shadow of a doubt it was not my fault.  I am very relieved to have that established even though I said it wasn’t my fault since all this started.

We have narrowed the issue down to either our website hosting company or Anti-Snus Terrorists.  VERY IMPORTANT:  If it turns out that our website hosting company did not receive our check in January, that is NOT my fault.  I remember very clearly putting the check in the envelope and heading out to the post office.  I did stop at a local bar for happy hour, but I am sure that afterwards, I took the check to Swedish Post and mailed it.  I am very sure!

If Swedish Post lost our payment, that is not my fault.  Nothing about this is my fault.  Remember that.

Wait, Larry is on the other line.  At least I think it’s him since all I hear is someone screaming about Americans being denied their snus or something.  Mick only has 6 cans left in his refrigerator?  Well, that’s not my fault either!

I will get back to you later once I return from the lake, have breakfast (I love breakfast), stop by the coffee shop, and have arrived at the store after too much time in traffic.  I do not have an easy go of it, believe me.

Again I am very sorry about this, and once we find out whose fault it was, I will deal with them very harshly on your behalf.  I just know none of this is my fault.

Your friend in snus,

Moe Unz