Monday, 13 May 2013 12:52

The Ettan Snus Event: 50% OFF!

Written by Larry Waters
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Behind the Ettan Snus Event: 50% OFF; Three Days Only, at SnusCentral.com

50% Off All Ettan Snus at SnusCentral.com!The Ettan Snus Event at the SnusCentral.com Snus Shop began innocently enough. Moe Unz, Snus Legend and Manager of SnusCentral.com, decided to "invite himself" to the recent Sweden Match Snus Summit held in Chicago, USA. Moe had no intention of attending any of the briefings or round table discussions. He was only in Chicago for free snus and to attach himself to the Swedish Match bar tab. Having much practice at this sort of thing, Moe was successful.

At some point, Swedish Match North America realized that Moe was an uninvited guest and attempted to have him removed. Moe countered by challenging Swedish Match to a drinking contest; if they won, he would leave and give back the snus. If Moe won.....he would dictate his own terms.

After a quick huddle with their Swedish counterparts who knew Moe, the SMNA team realized they were out-matched. They selected Marcus Carlsson of SMAB as having the best chance of at least keeping up with Moe, if not beating him. Six hours later, Carlsson lay passed out on the floor as Unz call for more beer. The match was over.

Moe's terms were simple: a three day 50% off sale of Ettan Snus at the SnusCentral.com Snus Shop. Terrified of corporate reaction but being a man of his word (and still drunk), Marcus agreed and was carted off to bed by the rest of the Swedish Match contingent.

The 50% Off Ettan Snus Event would be held 14-16 May 2013 (GMT+1). For those at the SnusCENTRAL Bunker in Texas who are not very good figuring out time zones, the Ettan 50% OFF Sale will begin 13 May; 5pm CDT/6pm EDT/ and end 72 hours later.

Ettan Snus has not been priced this low in 20 years (or something like that): Ettan Portion and White Portion $2.22 Can/$21.05 Roll !!! Ettan Loose at $2.15 Can/$20.25 !!!!!!

Snus Chaos in Stockholm

Despite repeated attempts, no one at Swedish Match AB Stockholm is commenting on the Ettan Event.

More ominously, Marcus Carlsson of Swedish Match Strategic Planning, whose inability to hold his alcohol created this 50% Off Ettan offering, has not been seen in public since news of the Ettan Event became public earlier today by Chad Jones on Snubie.com.

The SnusCENTRAL Intelligence Agency (SnusCIA) has been attempting to send Agents from the Gothenburg Office to investigate. Unfortunately, the State Department thinks they are too far away to do Carlsson any good and will not authorize the purchase of train tickets to Stockholm.

This story will be updated with any news on the health and whereabouts of Marcus Carlsson as they become available. I would advise all Ettan Snus fans to take advantage of this 3 day Ettan Event quickly and pray for Marcus' safety.  At last report, the Stockholm Police have not started dredging the river yet.....

Enjoy you Ettan Snus!The SnusCIA - Protecting your snus while you sleep

LARRY WATERS and
The SnusCENTRAL Intelligence Agency
Telling you stuff we know and others don't

Read 2644 times Last modified on Tuesday, 03 December 2013 19:27

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